Anna’s: For those Chipotle puritans, Anna’s may seem an oddity, but the independently-owned burrito place does make all its stuff from scratch, and when you’re looking to mix it up, there’s nothing quite like an Anna’s (pronounced Ana’s, like it’s Spanish, duh) when all Dewick has for dinner is some weird tofu, or (shudder!) Japan or France night. I mean this is America, right?

The Beezlebubs: Other than Tufts’ lacrosse team, Michelle Kwan’s attending the Fletcher School, and our Dental School, the Bubs are perhaps our biggest claim to fame. An all-male A’Capella group, the Bubs were featured on NBC’s “The Sing Off,” where they placed as finalists, and then recorded versions of Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” and Train’s “Hey Soul Sister” for Glee, as the all boys’ group The Warblers, before skyrocketing to No. 1 on iTunes with the Perry hit. Almost impossible to get tickets for their shows in Goddard Chapel, even though they do like six different performances.

Bello: Our beloved field, home to Tufts’ two most successful (and ‘Cac-ey) teams; field hockey and lacrosse.

Call on Me: AKA The Night Tufts Becomes Fun. Ladies and gentlemen, if you have high school friends at other schools in the Boston area, and want them to believe that Tufts is a fun school, invite one and all of them to the hill for this annual party, hosted by 123, Tufts’ chapter of the Theta Delta Chi fraternity. This night is about as fratty as it gets, and, inspired by Eric Prydz’s sultry music video, the party is probably every deprived Tufts male’s dream; attire is strictly limited to American Apparel-esque clothing that matches the ladies in the workout vid. One of the few nights you might actually have trouble getting into a frat party, be sure to get a ticket from a connect in 123 beforehand; otherwise, you’ll be stuck enjoying a cold Boston February night in all its glory, outfitted in a measly crop top and some spandex (maybe hot-pants or booty shorts for extra cover, if you’re lucky).

The Cannon: Literally a cannon on a hill. Some guy gave it to some other guy hundreds of years ago, and that guy had something to do with Tufts. Now, it looks down on the lower campus and all of Boston (Sidenote: I have a joke. You know what they say about Tufts, right? It’s the only school that looks down on Harvard. Literally.). Students, greeks, and organizations paint it every night with messages both thoughtful and not about upcoming fundraisers, etc. Some just grace the cannon with choice words. Whatever you paint on in the dark stays through the day until the next night, so choose your words wisely, or don’t. Once you paint it, you better sleep there to make sure no one comes along and paints over your stuff before the sun rises.

Carm: Carmichael, the uphill dining hall. Sophomore central, Carm has less stuff than Dew, but its main attraction is stir-fry night. Then again, the line’s so long, once you’ve been there, done that it may just prove extra incentive to hit up Dewick.

The Daily: The paper. Largest daily paper for a school of our size, but it has become common practice to diss and criticize it. In the end its just one more thing students love to hate though. The “Elephants in the Room” section, modeled after Sports Illustrated’s “Faces in the Crowd” interviews athletes and shows their candid, humorous sides when it comes to celebrity and campus crushes, past injuries, and favorite places to do laundry. Another plus? The daily horoscopes and jumbles. What else are you supposed to do during Intro to Econ?

Dewick: The downhill dining hall where athletes and underclassmen typically eat; there’s the normal side and then the side where all the sports have team meals before and after practices or games. Wtf happened to the long tables?

Football: Last year we beat Hamilton.

Hockey: 12-game losing streaks are overshadowed by a sick Red Bull-sponsored bus that takes kids to a few games a season (we don’t have a rink, but at least we also don’t have a rink that’s, like, half an inch short of regulation. Am I right or am I right, Bates?).

Joey: Every Tufts student has an on-off, love-hate, and utterly abusive relationship with this guy. For some reason, I still hear joey and think baby kangaroo, but in actuality, the Joey is a shuttle that runs between Tufts and Davis Square (home to Anna’s, Chipotle, Dave’s Fresh, the best sandwich place in the world, CVS, and the T-Stop) on a 15-minute loop. Of course with modern technology comes the ability to “Text Joey” and see where he is and when he’ll be coming to pick you up at either end, but more often than not, Joey becomes the unreliable boyfriend that neither texts back nor runs on time. As long as you’re not stranded at Davis in the snow, though, it’s not so bad, and Joey provides a very desirable alternative to the half-mile or so trudge to Davis in the winter months.

Jumbo: Our mascot. Before you laugh, make sure you don’t go to Conn. Coll, Amherst, Hamilton, Williams, Colby, or even Bates, because I’m pretty sure those are all weaker. Plus, our mascot was named for the Ringling Bro’s original circus elephant, which they donated to our school, which is pretty badass. As legend has it, the stuffed elephant hide burned down when one of our administrative buildings caught fire. But today, we have hella metal elephant sculptures and statues to stand testament, and while we still have Jumbo’s ashes in a peanut butter jar, his tusks are preserved in the Athletic Department, lending courage to all of our successful sports teams.

Larry: No firsty-lasty here, this man, and his wife Adele, require only one name. President Bacow, our beloved, and recently dearly departed, fearless leader, developed, for whatever reason, a cult following and fan base of obsessed, starry-eyed, tween-like female students over the course of his 10-year run at Tufts. Since when has it been “in” to like authority figures? Well, ever since Bacow started his early morning runs and tennis sessions, and made steamy cameo appearances at TDC* (see below).

Moe’s: You really do gotta go to Moe’s. No, not Mo’s Sporting Goods, or the Southwestern Grille, but chances are, in your first month as a freshman, you’ll frequent this late night joint more than a few times. Located on the corner of frat row, Moe cranks out burgers and dogs from a grill inside what looks like an old red trolley (actually, I don’t recall for sure what it looks like because on most visits to Moe’s I’m not really paying much attention). You’ll probably run into everyone you know and a half if you go, and it can be the perfect end or intermission to a night. Make sure you watch out for TUPD though; officers love to hang around and bust kids for having a good burger and a good time… the next frontier for Moe’s? Taking debit and credit. Dangerous, I know, but in the moment it’s pretty frustrating when you can only muster up $2 cash and need that fix.

Muggle: Inspired by J.K. Rowling’s enormously popular series, Harry Potter (alright, you’re obviously not in the NESCAC if you don’t know that already), being called a muggle is pretty much the worst insult you could ever receive. Like if I heard that, I might just go ship myself off to Cornell and throw myself off a bridge or a gorge or whatever they do over there, already.

NQR: More like R.I.P. This tradition, widely recognized, and touted as one of Tufts’ most identifiable, and unique traditions, on websites and in college guides, recently came to an end, when hospital visits, near deaths, and creepy townies prompted Larry to cancel the run in his last year of presidency. Formerly, however, the Naked Quad Run (or Nighttime Quad Reception, if you ask officials) was a time for students to drink a little, get a little naked and run around the quad between 1/15 and a dozen times on a freezing cold December night before finals, churning out some real stories for the grandchildren. But alas, nevermore. So with that, “Heaven holds the faithful departed.” – F. Costello.

PHP: Also: The Pub. Powderhouse Pub is the (only) place to go on Tuesday nights, and doesn’t ask much of its patrons. On one visit, as folklore has it, the bouncer simply turned to a friend as she walked through the door, and as an afterthought suggested to her, “Oh… next time bring a second form. And turn 21.” Also, there’s foosball.

Purple Hallway: That hallway towards the back of the lib where you sit if you want to feel productive (god, the kids in the conversation room are sooo lazy), but not actually do work. Best place to sit with friends and teams and waste time evaluating the shared libraries on iTunes of people sitting around you when you have a problem set due at midnight.

Quidditch: This is a NESCAC site; you’ve read it all before. Not trying to stealMiddlebury’s thunder, but just saying Tufts is up-and-coming in the sport (pretty sure we got 2nd last year).

Squid: Not cool.

Sunday Sundaes: Apparently this idea isn’t unique to Tufts Dining Services, and it’s probably not a NESCAC original, either (something tells me dining halls all over the country have it). But that doesn’t mean that Thursdays, and Sundays (spent miserably in the library, dreading the oncoming school week), aren’t made a little more bearable by the full sundae bar in Dewick. Of course, if you don’t get there by 6:15, the cookies ‘n cream, moose tracks, and cookie dough will all be gone and you’ll probably be left scraping mint chocolate chip or weird frozen yogurt out of the bottom of the barrel. The most infuriating part about sunday sundaes? How they turn the soft serve froyo machines off… like, why?

The T: Our way of getting around. Easier than the DC metro, and cleaner than NY, one might even call the MBTA the crowning glory of public transportation (one might not, also). Anyways, take it to South Station, get to Logan Airport, or out to a BC football game (as aforementioned, probably more worth it than staying on campus for one of ours). Most kids just take it two stops down to Harvard (Pinkberry just opened in Harvard Square), or to Newberry Street in downtown Boston when they really need to shop, but who has actually ventured out to “next stop, Ah-lington?”

TDC: Tufts Dance Collective, AKA Let’s Coreograph a Solidly Decent Dance to Mashup Music all Semester then Get More Than a Little Tipsy and Perform for the Entire Student Body. This twice-annual (that’s once a semester, for those of you who and me didn’t pass Tufts’s calc classes) tradition is actually as fun to watch as I’m assuming it is to partake in. But my acronym basically sums it up; you can find taped routines on YouTube. Overall, pretty self-explanatory.

TEMS: TUPD’s evil siamese twin, this service is actually supposed to improve our well-being. The idea was all there, I’ll admit. A student-run, emergency-response system to address life-threatening safety issues. That’s admirable. The unfortunate part, of course, is that TEMS has the reverse effect of scaring kids wary of disciplinary infractions into not calling in when their friends are sick or when things are out of control. Every kid fears TEMS, and the automatic placement on Pro-1 or 2 that goes along with the call.

Timeflies: A group assembled by two Tufts graduates, Rob Resnick and Cal Shapiro, Timeflies has recently gained a huge following on YouTube and new music sites, and is recognized for their weekly segment, Timeflies Tuesday. With a few videos (filmed at Tufts) already out on the web, their album “The Scotch Tape” is due to be out soon.

Trick-Turning: An age-old past time, trick-turning is the ultimate in doing your school (and your 40 K+ tuition) for most. On Tufts’ unlimited meal plan, you can go to the dining halls (theoretically) 1,000 times between 8 and 11 AM, and then at 10:56 hit up Hodgdon, our To-Go place. Your card still works, so you can stock up on like $5 of water bottles, Cliff bars, burritos, corn muffins, or iced lattes (read: coffee flavored heavy cream and sugar), on the same breakfast tab just before hitting up Dewick again four minutes later for lunch service. With $8 allotted for lunch and about $9 for dinner, that’s $22 extra dollars a day of free stuff you can take out. One of trick-turning’s most sought-after uses? The General Tso’s chicken post-dinner on Wednesday nights (for the athletes that can afford the calories), and chasers; Hodg comes fully-stocked with every cranberry, orange, apple, grapefruit juice you could want, plus 12-packs of soda and Gatorades up the wazoo –  hangover cure, anyone? The only downsides? Closed on the weekend, and Tufts’ sustainability-crazed students pushing to get rid of the plastic bags.. where is all our stuff supposed to go….??

TUPD: I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the fun police, but if they existed this would be them. TUPD is here to keep us safe, and also to do one or more of the following: bust freshmen for smoking weed behind Lewis in broad daylight, shut down parties by 11:15 PM, and send out text and email alerts about false gun-sightings (if they’re lucky on that count they’ll even prompt some insightful debate about racial profiling on campus). Other times, TUPD does other things, like….. um… bust freshmen for smoking weed behind Lewis in broad daylight, shutting down parties by 11:15 PM, and sending out hasty alerts about false gun sightings. These guys are omnipresent; literally, you cannot go a place without them being there, and it’s always the same three officers, which begs the question: do more even exist? Can they be in more than one place at once? Is this what the future of cutbacks in law enforcement will look like? Oh yah, and sometimes they help you find stolen stuff and things like that.


One thought on “Tufts

  1. Pingback: Don’t mind if I ‘Cac… |

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