Amherst: Pronounced without the “h,” thank you.
Bike Path: Long, windy, beautiful.
Captain Candy: The best store in the towns of Amherst, Hadley and Northampton!
Charles Pratt Dormitory (also known as Chuck Pratt): Has a Hogwarts staircase, my reason for going to Amherst (and of course, never lived in there…)
Extravaganga: Official annual potfest in the town green, aka pretty much on campus. Also happens to fall on admitted students weekend each year. Perrrrrfect.
Flayvors: You pet cows and eat ice cream. Simultaneously.
Freshman Quad: The only quad.
Hi-hi Lady: Best card swiper at Val. And the nicest.
Lord Jeff: The worst mascot in the history of the world. Long live the smallpox!
Marsh House: Cool artsy kids.
Memorial Hill: Best. Sledding. Ever.
Men’s Tennis Team: Awww yeah.
Mountain Day: Oh wait….everyone else has one but us.
Professor William H. Pritchard: The man, the legend. Has been at Amherst essentially all his life, knows everything about English/American literature after the 19th century. English major rite of passage.
Snow Days: Don’t exist.
The Socials: The weekend.
Track and Field: Lots of very short shorts.
TAP (The Amherst Party): Stampede.
The Trainer’s Room in the Gym: Where the candy jar is located. And shirtless, (sometimes) jacked boys.
Underwear Mile: Best night of the year.
Valentine Dining hall (commonly known as “Val”): the bane of every Amherst student’s existence.
Williams: KICK. THEIR. ASS. A claimed rivalry, though in real life, they’re really Amherst transplanted an hour west. They also win most of the time.
Women’s Basketball Team: Boss.
The Zu: The lesser-known veggies.
Zumbyes: Men who sing and dress as bananas. Also a pretty stellar a capella group.